1. Don’t underestimate kissing – or hugging. Affection (outside of sex) is important. When was the last time you held each other? When was the last time you kissed each other – I mean really kissed, not just a quick peck on the cheek? A full body hug (make it count – at least 10 seconds) is a great way to start the morning and leaves you wanting more later on.
2. Commit to pleasurable sex – not just “get it over with” sex. Pleasure – mutual pleasure – is essential in a good relationship. If we have pleasure (that means no faking it!) we’re not going to want to go a long time until we get it again.
3. Have a real conversation – talk to each other not at each other. Our conversations can be far from meaningful. Did you pay the cable bill? Who’s picking up the kids? Am I supposed to buy your mother’s holiday gift? You get the picture. Focus on the positive, even when you have to be negative.
4. Assume that’s there’s always more to learn about your partner. In long term relationships we start to believe that there’s nothing new to learn about our spouses. It’s just not true, and this will keep us from taking them for granted.
5. Adult time makes for better family time. Children thrive when their parents’ relationship is strong and loving. Make time for your marriage/relationship – without your children. Vacations, date nights, even an hour for the two of you can be invigorating. Remember that you have an identity outside of being “so and so’s mom or dad.” Don’t worry…your children will be just fine.
Article By: Dr. Logan Levkoff
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